Re-adjustment and Re-integration

At this point in time my re-integration period is occurring without incident. Although initially restless, I have started to really relax and am now looking to get back into a routine. Of course the Army has taken good care of us by quartering us in Limassol, Cyprus for 4 days to let off some steam before we came back to Canada and assume our routine responsibilities. It really has been a challenge as Pattie has developed her own methods for doing things and now I have to refit into the mix. We learned some time ago when I was in theatre that she is in fact pregnant and we are expecting in September. We really have done some travelling over the last year. With both Pattie and I undertaking deployments abroad, we also took a more pleasurable trip to St Lucia in the new year.

Staying just outside of Castries, St Lucia is a progressive Caribbean country that has seemed to have taken the best traditions from its British and French colonial histories and also maintaining the richness of its own cultural background. We had a great time and the weather was extremely pleasant. The people were great and the landscape magnificent. My favorite feature was the swim up bar which we used to great effect. We were not particularly happy with the glass sizes but Pattie quickly resolved this by providing us with out own insulated (and rather large) cups. With 5 months of being dry behind me, it didn't take too many trips to the bar for me to find my rhythm.

Cyprus of course was an unexpected bonus, and provided us with an excellent view of the Mediterranean sea but we were extremely glad to get home and link up with friends and family again. The process still continues, but we did take a trip out to Saint John area to visit Pattie's parents and family. As usual we were treated to the same high standard of hospitality that you would expect from the Maritimes. Staying at Pattie's brothers place we became acquainted with Doug and Wendy's new addition to the family "Mitchell". With her older sister "Sidney" I quickly learned that perhaps Afghanistan is not that bad of a place after all. The carnage that is left by those two is unbelievable and my hat goes off to their parents.... Doug, I don't know how you do it. Pattie's other Nephew's also were full of energy and once again I was able to play a bit of Playstation hockey with them although this time it was a draw. If I practice hard enough I am sure I can master the game. All in all it was a good trip. The route as always is bit long, however it was worth it and we look forward to doing it again. By the time the trip was done we were going to rest and relax in preparation to link up with my side of the family.

Thanks

I word of thanks to everyone for your support. I can not stress this enough. The signs and symbols of support are to be found everywhere throughout the Petawawa community. Included below is a letter that I wrote, around the 5th month of my tour. It was at a point when everything was starting to calm down and Taliban activity started to subside. We were still taking casualties and on the particular day that I wrote this letter, we had lost a soldier in strong point north, who had inadvertently stepped on a land mine losing his foot. It was a moment of time where I needed to vent and at the same time to put things in perspective. Many of you have already read the letter and it still to this day conveys my thoughts and feelings.

"I apologize for the generic letter but these days I don’t have a lot of time to sit at a computer drafting specific words of thanks to all the people who have offered me overwhelming support. All of you mean the world to me and so your support is not only appreciated but quite honestly sustains me through some of the worst days of my life. Bar none this is an experience that I will never forget and has changed me in so many ways.
I have been ambushed, attacked, bombed, mortared, mined and RPG’d to the point that I honestly can not wait to get home. I have showered only 7 times in the 4 months that I have been here, gone through 4 changes of clothes and have lived out of a small valise. I have only slept 6 nights having taken my boots off the whole tour. Every night I have slept under the stars (until recently when it started raining) and each night I have seen at minimum one shooting star in a truly impressive Afghan skyline.
Half of our company has been wounded and of 120 men the enemy has killed 6. Of the wounded some of the most severe have endured the loss of limbs, paralysis in parts of the body and in one case he is learning to read and write again. The enemy is real and a brutal enemy he is. Never have I believed more in a cause and each and everyday I believe in it more.
Our enemy uses children to fight its battles and as shields, it coerces, threatens, blackmails, steals, sells opium and represses women. It murders people such as elderly men simply because they associate with us and they corrupt a religion holding it hostage. They are uneducated, and illiterate but certainly not stupid. They place their mines strategically and wage a war of terror so that the locals live in fear. Most of the Taliban are foreign, and use the local population for their purpose but do not care for their well-being. They force the locals on missions with absolutely no chances of success and accuse them of being bad Muslims when they question it. They have no hesitation in causing massive civilian casualties if it only results in one coalition dead.
As much as it is a sin to kill your fellow man it would be a bigger sin to let the Taliban have freedom of action in a country that does not want the return of the Taliban (call it a form of divine justice). Contrary to what the media believes, Afghans do support the coalition, and we must support them. There is no shortage of people that are willing to die for their cause but I am thankful that those people choose to fight here against us rather than in Toronto or Ottawa. It would be ridiculous for me to think that they could be successful in doing this but I believe that certainly a few could.
As for the development of this country, Canada and reporters in general have it wrong. The west will not rebuild this country, Afghans will and are doing it each day. The west can do well to facilitate the process, but it is becoming clearer that in the areas that we are operating, international agencies are reticent to help. My message to them is to get off their soapbox and take some risk. Regardless of the situation, progress and development are continuing particularly in parts of the country where there is no fighting. For a media that is focused on our particular area of operations they forget about the progress occurring around the country. The Taliban has massed around us and we are willing to take on that burden.
I guess that the purpose of this letter is two fold. The first is to thank all of you for the overwhelming support that you have given me. From the cards to the care packages, it has a profound impact on what we do over here. Secondly I also want you very much to believe in what Canada is doing here in Kandahar. Canada at an international level has stepped up and is taking a leadership role in NATO for the first time that I can remember. We are doing what is right, not what is easy. It is important that we carry the load at least until the end of our mandate at which time we can let someone else take the lead. You have made this possible, and we should all be very proud to be Canadian right now.
Currently and for the foreseeable future we are committed to seeing the construction of a road…. A simple road…. But a road that has cost us 7 soldiers including two soldiers from my Company, Sergeant Darcy Tedford and Private Blake Williamson. I am so proud to be with soldiers like these and am happy to report that they have represented us all so well. The rest of us will stand here on this road with our Afghan brothers, and this road will get finished.
Thank you all for all that you have done, each and everyone of you have made me a better person and it is important that you know that. I have been raised as most other Canadians, with a sense of duty and fair play. That is directly related to the relationships that I have had with my family, my community and my country. Thanks for everything."

Pro Patria.
(For Country)

Steve

Returned Home

Good intentions do not always translate into action and I have unfortunately failed to update this blog for quite some time. Much has happened since my deployment in August and not only did I lack the means to update the Blog but also the words to describe what I wanted to convey. It isn't a lack of wanting to talk on the events of the last 7 months, but the means to do it. Surely a university education would give one the vocabulary and diction to express how I feel about my tour in Afghanistan, my Company and the soldiers that Iworked with each and every day. I could tell you how enormously proud I was to be associated with those soldiers and the great depth demonstrated within the Company during periods of great adversity. But that would be to understate how I really feel.

The loss of our soldiers and friends, namely, Warrant Officer Rick Nolan, Warrant Officer Frank Mellish, Sergeant Darcy Tedford, Private's Will Cushley, Mark Graham, Blake Williamson, is felt acutely by all of us within Charles Company. Having met them has made me a better person and for that I owe them a debt of gratitude and their families. I suppose the question is... what have we achieved? In the 7 months that we deployed, what were we able to accomplish and were we successful or were our efforts a complete failure. I am sure that there are many that would argue for and against, and question why we should be in Afghanistan at all. For me, this is what I think we achieved, and I remain very proud of it.

When we arrived in Afghanistan the Taliban had massed in the area of Panjwayi, a green area fed by the once mighty Arghandab river which produced a variety of agricultural products such as grapes, corn, onions, potatoes, marijuana and the occasional crop of poppy. It was obviously a lucrative area with an intricate series of irrigation ditches. Grape drying Huts were prevalent throughout enabling the locals to produce raisins. The village of Panjwayi was a rather large and I am sure at one time a very affluent community, with well developed schools, mosques and governmental facilities. Having access to a main highway it was clear that retail and service businesses were at one time present. However on our arrival, the town was deserted, the enhabitants forced away from their homes by the Taliban who had occupied portions of the town in an attempt to dislodge the Afghan Police from the town and pick a fight while firmly seated across the river in the town of Pashmul.

Pashmul was very different in character from Panjwayi, even though it was located adjacent to Panjwayi and separted only by a river bed. Pashmul did not have roads or access by highway. What roads did exist were small, difficult to traverse and awkward. It was clear that the town was suited primarily to pedestrian traffic and also that it was primarily agricultural with little in the way of retail stores. Around it lay substantial fields of complex terrain. The Taliban initially infiltrated this quaint town taking advantage of the locals distrust for the Afghan central government. Having been granted 'Pashtunwali' or the Pashtun tradition of hospitality and protection, their numbers grew and it became clearer that their intent was to make their stand against NATO forces in Pashmul as the Muhejadin had done against the Soviets years earlier. As the inflow of foreign Taliban fighters continued, the situation was exacerbated by an out flow of the local inhabitants. A robust and sophistocated defensive position was constructed which included mutually supporting defences, primary and alternate fighting positions and trenches with overhead protection. The extent of the position we did not fully appreciate until we had taken defeated the Taliban and walked the ground but they were formadible to say the least.

Operation Medusa would be the opportunity to defeat the Taliban in a conventional setting and displace them from Pashmul. Although the mechanics had appeared to be simple, the Russians had never been able to defeat the Muhejadin in Pashmul and it was said to be the beginning of the end for their campaign in Afghanistan. Medusa and the following Operations produced many successes and many lessons learned. These areas and towns in which we would not dare set foot in without engaging into a fight with the Taliban could by the tours end be easily patrolled with little concern. The return of people to their homes was proceeding well in the towns of Pashmul, and Sperwan. Panjwayi, had been transformed into a remarkable town where shops were abound and people moved about without restriction. Incense could be smelled down the various side streets and fresh produce was sold in many of the local convience markets. We constructed a road which was set to be paved that would provide access to Pashmul and we set the conditions for the construction of a bridge connecting Pashmul to the town with Panjwayi which is set for next fall.

My big regret for the tour that we did not have a lot of interaction with the locals, as we were often engaged with the Taliban, whose primary purpose was to inflict casualties upon us. Those that we did have contact with were supportive of us if only clandestinely as they would be killed by the Taliban for consorting with us. All of the humanitarian aid that we distributed (which was entirely inadequate) was stolen by the Taliban. An in no small part do I owe my life to the many locals who kept us alive with information. Those who told us about Taliban ambushes, Mines and IED's (explosive improvised devices). These locals kept us informed of Taliban movements and often times would accept no money for the information. Throughout my tour I gained a great respect for Islam, an admiration for the toughness of these people an appreciation of the beauty of their country and their customs. Although there are many parts of their society that I abhor, they have made cultural adjustments based on nessesity and the inability to pursue other options.

They are an ingenious people, and there is nothing that I would like more than to see them be able to build a society with minimal outside interference. I am proud of Canadian involvement in Afghanistan, I am proud of our achievements there, and I am proud of the soldiers of Charles Company who played such an important role in those achievements. No doubt I will write more on this subject as I become motivated to do so. There is simply so much to say and so few words to express it. Until then. Thanks.

One Day from Deployment

I am now all packed and ready for deployment and the reality of it all seems to have hit me. Yesterday we dipped our combat uniforms in a solution containing Permethrin, a chemical used to discourage the infestation and bites of insects that may carry desease. Although they were still wet after being hung in a modular tent for the better part of 20 hrs they were still somewhat wet but packed well none the less. After the addition of my combats and the issued tourniquet, quick clot and pressure bandage, we went through the DAG (departure assistance group) ensuring that kit was properly packed and all of our administration was complete. Passports, NOK forms, ID cards and the like.
During the last week mom and dad came up for a visit and so we went to the beach and my mother and I went to see Stompin Tom Connors. Good show and it was great show to see prior to deployment. Pattie gave me a departure present, that after a few reservations, I was very glad that she did. I am now a proud owner of an IPod. Amazingly I can store my whole CD collection on this small little card like computer. I can play video, download new casts and a variety of other things. Amazing what technology can do. If I want, I can now listen to around 6 days worth of music without stopping. That is .... if I want.
I have become very excited and nervous over the last few days, and now with the prospect of leaving Pattie and home, I am very anxious to get the next 6 months overwith. It will not go by quickly enough. I suppose it helps that I believe in the mission, however it is hard to justify why it should be Canadians that are allocated to the task. Perhaps because we can or maybe because as a nation we feel a sense of moral responsibility to help. Regardless, I have no allusions about the mission. We will not be the decisive factor in this conflict. We cannot win this war.... only the Afghan people can. However we do create the conditions for success by preventing the Taliban from reclaiming power and eliminating any forward progress. The key to success however is our ability to conduct reconstruction efforts in an uncertain and volitile environment. Regardless of our attempts to try and create a secure environment, it is essential that the locals see that we are legitimately making a bonifide effort to reconstruct Afghanistan and increase the standard of living amongst the population. Executing these tasks in the current security environment is indeed a challenge and we may not succeed, however this is our goal.
Canadians are so much more priviledged than that of our Global Village neighbours, and we must constantly remember that. And so off I go with IPod in hand back into the third world. I hope Canada remains pretty much the same until I get back. Cheers.

Camping

Excellent week of relaxation in Algonquian Park. We did some additional preparation for this trip having purchased a few things that made the week that much more enjoyable. We spent more money than we had wanted however I wanted the trip to be that much more enjoyable because no one can be sure what will happen tomorrow. We bought a larger tent, a small kitchen tent and a replacement coleman stove. The first coleman stove that we had (originally given to us by Valerie) was destroyed when I attempted to cook bacon on the grill. The grill literally melted under its own heat. Not to worry though, we quickly replaced it and added to our camping equipment with a lantern, sleeping bag and a few other acoutrements. Camping at Rock Lake we gleefully acheived nothing and eventually found my Aunt Glenda and Uncle Bill who were also camping in the park although not at the camp site we had originally thought. It was a good week and I felt very relaxed despite the fact that my thoughts often returned to reality on occassion.

The Israeli attack against Hezbollah is in full swing now and although I am sympathetic to the Israeli cause, I do not view their attacks as a reasoned or proportional response as Stephen Harper has described it. The death of an acquantance of mine Hess von Kruger (HVK) can not be justified in any way. If anyone could explain to me how the Israeli army could mistake a known, static observation post clearly marked and likely accurately targeted by both sides for a Hesbollah position, I would be surprised. Clearly that position was targeted and the force that was applied was premeditated or the result of gross negligence. Regardless, I do not see an end to the violence. Israel's strategy seems to me to be short term, near sighted and tries to create the conditions for success by repressing regional neighbours indefinitely instead of building lasting and substantial long term relationships in the region. Eventually Israel's Arab neighbours will become formidible, having the means to inflict much damage on the country and one can only hope that they do not have the motive or justification to exercise those means.

Having said that, I should be happy with the events in the middle east because they provide yet another front in the war against terrorism and that can only mean perhaps a bit of relief on our soldiers in Afghanistan. However, I see Lebanon as another example of how violence and terror can provoke rational and reasonable governments to react unreasonably and unproductively.

For now I will watch the events of the middle east unfold while I enjoy another week of leave and read about an equally confusing time when Germany and Britain engaged in a bitter arms race in a struggle for european supremacy.

Leave Before Afghanistan

I am scheduled to depart for Afghanistan on the 8th of Aug 2007. I will return to work two days prior to prepare my combat clothing with a coat of permethrin to prevent mosquitos and other desease carrying insects from transmitting malaria. I have started my mefloquine pills again and much to my chagrin the side effect of not sleeping the day of is still a reality. I have been given a lot of leave and I have attempted to make best use of it. We visited Saint John and Pattie's family for slightly less than a week. We did not get to see as much of everyone as we had wanted but at least we were brought up to speed with the local gossip and what was news in the community. At this time I am reading a book on the beginnings of the first world war and the rise of imperial Germany. We went camping with Chris and Gen as well as Kyle and Jessica and realized that both Pattie and I are extremely competitive persons each with our own way of doing things. Although we didn't fight all the time there were moments that both of us felt slighted and belittled by the other and we realized that we are much better when on our own without third party interference because we are both more resigned to be ourselves. We will be linking up with my Aunt and Uncle in Algonquin Park in the next couple days however we will take a day to re-set in hopes of tightening up our camping SOP's and getting ready for another week of camping.

Steve's First Blog

My intent for this blog is to make a poor attempt at joining the current century in finding a place for my thoughts and feelings throughout my short and insignificant life. As time rolls on hopefully this blog will become a portal for people to understand me better as well as a process for me to learn about myself. I hope that this will be a theraputic process that will ultimately place in order, sometimes complex emotions that all persons have, to allow sensible analysis and judgement. Hopefully this will make me be a better person.